amazing.

I'm a total sucker for graphite, and for photorealism, and for minerals, so these blew me away. I only wish I were in San Francisco to go see Marissa Textor's work in person at Park Life...I'll have to go look at some other awesome art to fill the void. I saw this the other day and LOVED it, and last weekend I hit up the "Greater New York" show at PS1--any suggestions for something I should see this weekend?

starting again, perhaps?

I last wrote on this blog nearly a year ago. Since then, I've learned a lot about: the global carbon cycle, dead zones, helium, and how acids digest rock; I don't get lost on the NYC subway; I have failed to finish putting up pictures on the walls of our apartment.

More on all these things later. For now, just a few thoughts.

1) the last 5 recipes I've made from food blogs have been major failures (maybe only minor failures, but since I'm cooking so infrequently these days, they feel worse by ratio/comparison).

2) I miss the west coast terribly. New York is a wonderful place, and I've loved being here this summer (I'm not sure I can in good conscience say that I loved being here during the fall/winter), but I think part of why I've loved it is that I leave nearly every weekend. And because I'm at Lamont all day long, my actual city-time is pretty minimal. So what exactly is it that I've loved? Evenings with friends, our rooftop, biking over the Brooklyn Bridge when the moon is out? Yes, yes, and yes. But I've loved surfing on the Cape, sailing on Lake Champlain, and skateboarding the parking structures of MIT more. My summer is filled with moments of total awesomeness, most of which do not take place in New York.

That's totally fine. I'm really happy right now, and I'm lucky that I can leave to go do the things that I love to do. And I know that there's a reason I'm here; it's not like I'm just hanging out here for the hell of it, I'm working my ass off to learn stuff so I can be a better scientist, thinker, and writer. Totally legit.

So why do I keep having pangs of intense, visceral homesickness for places that are not even my original home? I think about Portland and I want to be there so badly I could cry. I think of LA (Seal Beach, Laguna, even Claremont, for heaven's sake!) and feel as though I will fly away like a pile of dust unless I get in the water to surf Trestles, Sunset, County Line. I even dream about running the ridge--3 miles straight uphill into the San Bernadino foothills, in the blazing sun, a slow shuffle all the way until I crest out and see the smog-filled LA basin, then another few miles of arm-flailing steepness downhill. I loved that stupid run.

I guess what I'm wondering now is whether I'll miss my life here when I leave, because I know I will leave. Or rather, what small pieces of my life here will I miss, and will they grow in size and importance to drown out the annoying bullshit that screams so loudly now? Will running at sunset on the West Side Highway block out having to commute 1.5 hours to get to my stupid lab? Will eating dinner on the roof with Alex cancel out the panic I felt for 6 months, as I tried to catch up to all the other 1st year grad students re: earth science background?

Anyway. What I'm trying to say is that I'm happy, and I'm engaging in a dumb, useless project of trying to compare my happinesses of the past: Pomona, Portland, Hawaii, Brown Ledge. I suppose what I should do is just file this as a good time in my life and leave it at that, no?

Note: the photos are two happy times from the last month or so--top: Breene, sitting in front of his, Justin's, and my skateboards after an epic skate sesh in Boston. bottom: the view of Mallet's Bay (Lake Champlain) that I woke up to on my birthday. Brown Ledge is like a quarter mile to the right out of the frame.